Hidden Intentions 2 Page 3

  While driving home, I wondered if I was becoming depressed myself. A few minutes later, I found my husband laid out on the lawn next to his Range Rover.

  After parking his truck in the garage, I tried desperately to wake him up, but he was too drunk to move on his own. It took me almost an hour to get him in the house and upstairs in the bed.

  Chapter 10

  “Nya, I just bought that bottle of rum yesterday. Why did you throw it away?” Tory barked at me while I was eating a bowl of hot grits.

  “You mean, pour it down the kitchen sink drain,” I corrected him.

  “I will just buy more. Besides, I need it to get through,” he pleaded, trying to convince me.

  I took a sip of apple juice. “To get through what?”

  “You know what . . . don’t play games with me.”

  “Tory, what you need is a counselor to help you cope with the loss of your father.”

  “I don’t need a damn shrink telling me how to feel and giving me pills to make me feel like a zombie.”

  “Too late. You already act like one. Let’s go, please. I can even invite your mother, Anne, and Steven. Everyone is hurting. I can make an appointment for today, baby.” I moved closer to him and rubbed his hand.

  “You have your father. He’s alive and well. I don’ have my father. While he was having a heart attack, I was at the store picking up some damn sprinkles and ice cream for you. My cell phone reception is horrible in Farm Fresh. My mom said she called at least six times before she could get through.”

  “What are you trying to say?”

  “I’m just saying, maybe if I wasn’t getting junk food for you, maybe I could have saved my father,” Tory slurred. “Who knows? I could have gotten him to the hospital faster than the ambulance.” He took a big swig of a beer.

  “Are you blaming me?”

  “Yes. My father is gone, but you still got those sprinkles,” he screamed. “By the way, you haven’t touched them yet!”

  “If you want to blame rainbow sprinkles and chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream on you becoming a drunk, go right ahead. You’re right. My father is here. I’m grateful for that. No, I don’t know how you feel. I couldn’t imagine the hurt and pain. Instead of blaming me, why can’t we get through this together? I’m trying to help you. I’m your best friend and, above all, your wife. Let me be there for you and get you the help you need.”

  “No. For the last time, I’m not going to see a psychiatrist. This conversation is over,” he said before storming up the stairs.

  After drying my tears, I headed to the hospital for work. I knew my eyes looked puffy. Plus, I had bags under them because of all the stress and lack of sleep. Lately, I couldn’t get rest without taking a sleeping sedative. Most nights, I lay awake worrying about Tory and how I could get him to stop drinking.

  On the way to work, I tried to relax and listen to a CD, The Evolution of Robin Thicke.

  With a hefty salary increase and becoming a nurse practitioner, I wasn’t required to be on the hospital floor as much. Still, what I loved the most was the time with the patients. Taking a quick glance on the medical chart, I saw that my first patient of the day was Kathleen Palmer, age twenty-four, who’d delivered a six-pound baby girl named Abigal, her first child.

  I knocked on her door and went to the sink to wash my hands. “Good morning. I’m Nya, and I’ll be your nurse for the next shift. How are you and baby Abigal doing?”

  “Hi. Nice to meet you. I’m doing okay. The pediatrician just finished giving my little angel an examination.” Kathleen doted on her daughter in the rolling hospital crib.

  “Are you having any pain?” I inquired, taking her vital signs.

  “Yes, but I took the ibuprofen.”

  “How long ago did you take it?”

  “About an hour ago.”

  I started putting her updated vital signs in the computer. “Your baby is beautiful.”

  “Thank you. She looks like her father today. Maybe tomorrow she’ll look like me.” She giggled.

  I leaned in to see her baby. “Well, she definitely has your lips, nose, and fingers.”

  “Yeah, she does. I carried her for nine months. Abby should have some of my features.”

  “Can I get you anything?” I asked, walking over to wash my hands again.

  “No, I’m fine for now. My parents are here. They went to Starbucks for me. I can’t wait to drink a mocha latte. I cut out caffeine throughout the whole pregnancy.”

  I smiled. “You certainly were disciplined. I probably would have cheated here and there.”

  The phone rang. As Kathleen talked on the phone, the baby began crying.

  I changed her diaper and bundled her back up into her blanket. Once Kathleen hung up, tears began to stream down her face.

  “Are you all right?”

  “No, it was my husband on the phone. Three months ago, he was deployed to Iraq. It’s hard with him being out there. I’m constantly worrying about him being injured or possibly coming back in a body bag. So many nights, I stay up wondering when next I’d hear from him. Now the baby is here, and it’s like I’m a single mother. Not to mention, two years ago, we bought our first home in Chesapeake, so I have to take care of the bills and house by myself.

  “I remember both of us were so excited to move into our first home. The only thing I cared about was decorating it. I spared no expense fixing up my baby’s room with a custom-made crib. I was running up credit cards to the tune of fifteen thousand dollars, buying everything and anything I felt the house needed. That’s when the bills started piling up. It also didn’t help that we got an adjustable rate mortgage, which had ballooned. We were barely making our payment of eleven hundred dollars a month, and it has jumped to seventeen hundred dollars a month now. With my husband gone, I’ve had to deal with everything by myself.” Kathleen was now sobbing.

  I handed her a box of Kleenex tissues. “Did you try to refinance?”

  “Yes, I did. The refinance payment would be fixed at sixteen hundred dollars a month, and I can’t afford to have a fixed mortgage at that price. I’m better off with what we have now and waiting for it to go back down. With two car payments, food, utilities, the high price of gas, and now the baby’s diapers and formula, I don’t know how I’ll get by. I’ve been using our credit cards just to survive. Now, we’re all tapped out. No company will give me another credit card. We’re already two months behind in the mortgage and will soon be facing foreclosure. My daughter may not have a house to grow up in.” She continued to cry.

  “I used to work at a bank called BankFIRST. Recently, they set up a program to work with homeowners on a payment they can afford.” I jotted down a name and number on a piece of paper. “Here is a number I want you to call. Her name is Ruth Stein.”

  “Thank you so much,” she said as I handed her the paper.

  “You’re welcome. While you’re waiting for Starbucks, it’s time for Abigal’s feeding. Do you want to practice getting her latched on?”

  “Yes, the sooner the better.” Kathleen smiled. “She did well last night.”

  Chapter 11

  I had the day off and the house all to myself. Tory had left early that morning without saying a word to me. We had gotten into an argument last night because I’d asked him when he planned on going back to work. Thankfully, Irvin was being patient with him, as far as giving him more time off to grieve. To me, though, it didn’t seem like he was grieving anymore, just drinking. It was obvious he hated it when I complained about his excessive drinking, but it was also obvious he didn’t plan on stopping anytime soon. Now, he was hiding alcohol bottles all through the house. While he was asleep, I searched everywhere to find them and pour them down the drain.

  There was a strong knock at the door.

  When Tory was on the loose and there was a knock at the door, I couldn’t help but imagine the police at my door informing me he killed himself or someone else while driving drunk. We lived in Commonwealth Virginia, w
here the state doesn’t take too kindly to drunk drivers. When talking to Tory about the dangers of drunk driving, it went in one ear and out the other. At times, I wondered why I even bothered. Then I’d remember the man I fell in love with and answered my own question. I refused to give up on him and our marriage and planned to stick it out.

  I opened the front door just in time to see Leah waving good-bye to Nelson. “What do you want?”

  “I need your help.”

  “The answer is no. Why did Nelson just drop you off here?” I quickly turned toward the living room, and Leah was on my tracks.

  “Last night, my car got repossessed. Nelson was still working his shift at the restaurant when it happened. I lied to him this morning and told him I had dropped it off at the shop for a tune-up. It just so happens that today is my only day off this week.”

  “This is my day off too.”

  “Let me finish! I told Nelson you would drive me back to the dealership to pick the car up,” she stated matter-of-factly.

  “I’m not helping you, Leah. I don’t need this today. I’m tired, and I need to rest. I just pulled a sixteen-hour shift and then had to do payroll and pay bills for the restaurant.”

  “Please? No one else will help me. If Nelson finds out, I’ll have to hear his mouth. Mommy and Daddy said a month ago they weren’t going to help me anymore. I think they meant it this time.”

  “How many months are you behind?”

  “Four months. I spoke to the credit company, and they told me if I paid twenty-one hundred dollars today, I can get the car back.”

  “Why didn’t you keep the Montero Sport I bought for you? Not having to make monthly payments is the way to go.”

  “The Montero Sport got old, and the two-door silver BMW 330i became more appealing.”

  “Your priorities are all messed up,” I replied, shrugging my shoulders and sitting down on the couch in the living room.

  “Maybe I have an addiction to shopping,” Leah said nonchalantly.

  “Leah, shut up. You are not starring in a Lifetime movie.”

  “I will help you on one condition,” I said reluctantly, shaking my head. Yes, I admit I was definitely an enabler for her, but she was my sister. She had to have something to ride in.

  “You have to pay me back within six months. Three hundred fifty dollars a month to me shouldn’t be hard. I’m going to make a contract and get it notarized at the bank. After you sign it, we’ll go get your vehicle. Soon, we will be facing our thirties. Do you really want to have nothing to show for working but your clothes, shoes, and makeup?”

  “Nya, I’m going to do better.”

  “Credit and having your own stability should be important to you.”

  Leah nodded her head. “You’re right.”

  “When we get back, I’m going to take a nap.” I started putting on a pair of sneakers.

  Thankfully, Leah didn’t have any credit card debt, since Nelson made it a habit to give her pre-paid Visa cards.

  Chapter 12

  It was an unusually warm day for February. Before leaving for work, I opened most of the windows, so fresh air could circulate throughout the house.

  I had a long work schedule that would consist of me being in and out of hospital meetings all day. Due to the economy, the hospital administrators were obligated to cut back on annual salary increases. Grateful that we wouldn’t be losing our current salaries, I took it in stride. The most we could get for the next year was four percent, which was still better than nothing.

  I was especially thankful that Tory and I had agreed to a fixed mortgage rate when we’d purchased our home. I couldn’t count on my fingers how many of my coworkers were losing their homes because of adjustable rate mortgages. If times got real rough, I had the stash of money Brennon gave me. Other than what I’d contributed to Yvette’s shelter, I hadn’t touched it. It was sitting quietly in a safety deposit box collecting dust. To this day, I hadn’t told a soul about that.

  On my way home from work, I was in the mood for a mango Frutista Freeze from Taco Bell. Soon I regretted pulling up in the drive-thru because the person in front of me took twenty-five minutes with their order. As I waited impatiently, I wondered if I was the only person this happened to.

  On my way home, I decided I didn’t want to fight with Tory this evening. I decided to casually speak to him, take a shower, eat leftovers, try to sort through the mail, and go to sleep earlier than usual.

  “Hey,” he greeted me at the door when I walked in, Billie Holiday playing in the background.

  “Hi,” I responded.

  “Follow me,” he whispered in my ear, motioning with his finger.

  Candles were lit everywhere in the dining room. He had two placemats set on the table along with a card addressed to me. The front of the card read: I’m sorry. When I opened it, Will you forgive me? was handwritten in it.

  “Nya, I know it’s been hard putting up with me these last few months, and I’m very sorry for the way I’ve been treating you.”

  “Of course, I forgive you. I love you.” I gave him a small peck on his lips and a long hug. I smelled a hint of whisky on his breath.

  “Sit down.”

  “What are we eating tonight?”

  “ It’s your favorite, the Tour of Italy, for you, and fettuccine Alfredo for me from Olive Garden. I’ve been keeping it warm in the oven.” Tory took off my heels and rubbed my feet, which relaxed me.

  Dinner was perfect. Tory even remembered to substitute the chicken parmesan for grilled chicken with marinara sauce and mozzarella cheese just the way I liked it. He racked up twenty brownie points for that. It was the little things about our relationship that mattered the most to me.

  “I’m full. Thank you for dinner, baby. It was lovely.” I giggled, rubbing my stomach.

  “That’s not all.”

  “Really?”

  “For dessert, I bought you a slice of tiramisu. I’ll go get it from the refrigerator.”

  Tory cut off a small spoonful of the tiramisu and fed it to me. He began dabbing the mascarpone cream cheese on my neck and licking it off. We began kissing. We had definitely been missing each other.

  He unbuttoned my medical shirt then took off my wifebeater and bra. He gently laced my right nipple with the sweet cream cheese and sucked it off. This was just what I needed—my husband to kiss me, caress me, lick me, suck me, and most of all, fuck me. He squeezed my breasts and slowly licked his way down into my inner thighs. I moaned as he kissed his way toward my pussy.

  He took off his clothes and led me to the Jacuzzi. It was in the corner of the backyard and dark outside, so no one could see what we were doing. At this moment, I didn’t care if anyone saw. I wanted Tory inside of me. Now.

  The water was warm to the touch. Tory and I began kissing again, while my hand rubbed his dick. Then he picked me up and, with my ass hanging over the edge of the Jacuzzi, opened my legs wide and started sucking my clit, licking it up and down. Me coming in his mouth was going to be the ultimate dessert for me.

  Suddenly, Tory stopped, got out of the Jacuzzi, and pulled me out. Not being able to make it to the bedroom, we ended up on the staircase.

  “I want you to feel me,” he cooed in my ear. “It’s been too long.” He slid his dick inside my moist pussy.

  I was in total ecstasy as he kept giving me deep, long strokes. Just as I was about to come, he stopped.

  “Tory!” I called out and shook the hell out of him. Damn it; he fell asleep in the middle of us having sex. Pissed off, I left him snoring right on the staircase.

  I went downstairs to clear off the dining room table, wash the dishes, turn off the CD player, and finish eating that slice of tiramisu. I finished just in time to tune in to reruns of Will and Grace.

  Chapter 13

  Since our unforgettable night of apologizing about a month ago, things between Tory and I had worsened. To be spiteful, Tory was now leaving empty bottles in the places where he used to hide full bottles. Ever
y morning before I left for work, all I would see was his lips wrapped around a bottle. His lips needed to be on me, damn it.

  Every other day, I searched his truck and all throughout the house for alcohol. He had become more resentful toward me and wasn’t saying much at all. Last Saturday, he slept for seventeen hours. Things didn’t seem to be turning around for the better, and getting our relationship back to the way to the way it was before his father died seemed like an unreachable goal at this point.

  In our guest room, Tory had his father’s clothes all over the bed, and his shoes piled in the corner next to the window.

  I understood that he felt closer to his father by having most of his clothes, so trying to be considerate and preserve the items, I bought storage bins to put them in and placed them in the attic.

  This morning as I was preparing for work, he came in our bedroom and went ballistic, saying that I don’t care about his feelings or his father.

  My boss stopped me in the hallway. “Nya, may I have a word with you?”

  “Yes.”

  She led the way into her office and closed the door. “Please have a seat. How are you doing?”

  I grabbed a chair to sit. “Hmm. I’m all right.”

  “Well, to be honest, I’m concerned about you.”

  “How so?”

  “Nya, you look tired, worried, and upset most of the time. It’s as if something is troubling you. Don’t get me wrong, you still do your job, a damn good job of giving quality care to our patients. I’m more concerned about what’s going on with you personally. Is everything okay at home? I hope you don’t think I’m prying. I just want to make sure you’re okay. You’re one of the best nurses I have working for me, and I hope to keep it that way. If you need some time off or anything else, please don’t hesitate to speak with me.”

  “Ms. Canthen, I appreciate the concern, but I’m all right. Thanks for the positive feedback about my performance.”